Fear is a strange little creature. It’s like the boogie monster when you’re a little kid. None of us ever saw Mr. or Mrs. Boogie. See, we don’t even know if Boogie is a boy or a girl. Yet, we accepted that we should fear him/her/them/zier? That’s one of the earliest lessons we get about accepting the reigns of fear. I don’t think we ever truly analyze how this boogie monster manifests itself in us as adults. We grow up. We know the boogie monster isn’t real. That realization just seamlessly happens. There is no trauma involved like there is the first moment some children find out there is no Santa Claus. Yet, as adults we allow fear to paralyze us all the same. I know I do at times.
Fear is nothing but the boogie monster of adulthood. It’s not real. It is way more alive in the imaginary ‘soap opera’ we build for it in our minds. Yet, we accept this fear to be accurate just as we did with Boogie. There are areas in my life where fear is like Boogie – nothing but a realized lie that I push through like the imaginary foe it is (I mean, I eventually have to leave the bed to go to the bathroom even though Boogie is waiting to get me under the bed, right?). Unfortunately, there are those other areas where I cuddle up with fear as if it’s an imaginary friend. It keeps me company while I suspend fully living. I’m not talking about things like the fear of fire, or crossing a street filled with fast-moving traffic. We KNOW those things will harm us. Fear in those cases has a fairly solid foundation, right? But what of those uncharted places where we have no experience or concrete case studies.
How could we create a hypothesis in these cases? Well, we can’t. I know, “never say never”. However, in this case I am going to take a bit of creative license. The only way to find out is to jump right into the proverbial fire. This isn’t safe. It’s a risk. Think about it, though. How many times have we been TERRIFIED about something just to get to the other side discovering that what we imagined was way worse to non-existent? What other things could I have been doing with that time I was worrying? I can NEVER get that time wasted on worry back. It is so not worth it. But here’s the thing. Sometimes, we get to the other side and we don’t reign triumphant. See, fear is right this time, we may want to believe.
I call bull$#!+. There is information, education & value in that experience. We can take that information, run back to our imaginary cuddle boogie buddy fear who will be waiting with wide open arms while screaming I told you so! Or we can adjust & try again. Do it differently. Discover that we don’t want to do IT after all and do something completely different. The possibilities are endless. Imagine if we never tried again after first tries such as riding a bike, swimming or learning to walk as a child for the first time.
One of the best lessons I ever got from a mentor is JFDI (Just Effing Do it)!!! Eff the fear and do it anyway. Hear that Essence? Oh, you guys can listen too if you wanna. We never know what new discoveries are awaiting us on the other side of it.
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom" - Marilyn Ferquson
- We can Deal with Fear like the Navy Seals with the Breath and Practice (ptsdawayout.com)